Here's where I muse, I knit, I crochet, I quilt, I rant, I rave, I carry on about the world in general. My patterns and notes on patterns will appear on Knit Knack Patty Shack.

Monday, March 9, 2009

The Love Dare: Day 10

Love is unconditional.

Today's challenge: do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse.

I always thought I knew what unconditional love was. The book just proved me wrong. It states--very strongly--that unconditional love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.

OUCH! Gut puncher, there! So, ladies and gents, I have never loved unconditionally. I have loved based on friendship, sex, and personal qualities. That hurts just to say it, and even more to read it. On those conditions, my marriage was for all the wrong reasons.

*sigh* I'll continue the Dare, because I need to change me. BUT I have to let go of him because he has already let go of me.

So, Ray, I release you. You are free to find true happiness elsewhere.

Heavy hearts still have work to do. Back later.

Day 10, evening:
He seemed to take the news rather well. He agreed to let me get on my feet before he completely let me go. He doesn't seem to happy that I may not always be in Kentucky, but I think he'll get used to it. Pretty soon everything that's happening now will just be a routine for him. I hope he doesn't choose to not to be in another relationship, he's still a wonderful person.

I think the first thing I'm gonna do when I get to drivin' is take a vacation. I so deserve one after all this crap. And maybe someday I'll actually drive myself to the ocean. So many new and hopeful things are on my horizon. Who knew letting go could be a good thing for me? Back later.

Day 10, endnote:
I have completed this challenge all week. Score one for me!

Anyhooligans, the day is done and it's time for bed. So in reflection, what have I learned? The road is hard, the journey is long, but all these things I do to get to the mountain of God. Sounds cheesy and even remotely cliche, but that's what I've learned. I've also learned that sometimes it's just okay to let go and be done with it all.

Back tomorrow with Day 11.



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