Here's where I muse, I knit, I crochet, I quilt, I rant, I rave, I carry on about the world in general. My patterns and notes on patterns will appear on Knit Knack Patty Shack.

Monday, March 2, 2009

The Love Dare: Day 3, repeat 2

Had a weird dream this morning. Could be based on my emotions, could be based on the truth. Don't know yet. Anyhooligans, have to be out and about with Ray today cause I am still dependent and non-driver like that.

Having a contacts exam done today. I'm excited! Then have to go to London for some boots and then somewhere to buy birthday stuff for Bear. Then Have to pick Bear up at his bu stop and then off to grocery shop. It's going to be a long day.

You know why it's going to be a long day? Because I have to practice patience and being slow to anger and quick to listen. I have no where to hide because most of the day I'll be in the car with him. I don't know how much of a succes even part of this day is going to be.

More later.

Day 3, repeat2, evening:
Told you it would be painful! God, it so hard to stay quiet for that long! He's gone for now. Went to his dad's, he'll be back in an hour. Still no success on Day3 challenge. I'm gonna have to repeat this tomorrow.

Got my contacts. They're a little annoying, but they're okay. Got my boots too. Still breaking these suckers in.

You know what's the hardest? Not tellin' him I love him, not holdin' him, not kissin' him. Not anything him. Daniel's advice to me was not to cut myself off from the relationship because it would cause more damage, but I cant do this. I can't bear to see him everyday if I can't touch him. And he's the one cutting me off. Completely. Like I'm acid on his skin, poison on his lips. Oh, how desperately I need hugged right now!

Hold me up, ya'll, I need it. More later. :-(

Day 3, repeat 2, endnote:
Yeah, not a success, but we already knew that didn't we? So, off he goes back to his dad's. I'm more like his baby mamma. I'm sorry to say this, but I have to cut myslef off from the relationship. Ihave no choice.

My resolve is not to see him for the rest of the week. Of course, he has to come tuck the kids in, but other than that, nada. Not gonna teach him anything, he'll like it. But it will strengthen me. And for those of you who have ever been addicted to someone, you know exactly what I mean.

Hey, looks like I just completed Day 3 challenge! HA! Take that Love Dare! I guess this means no emails either. Gonna be spendin a lot of time on Pogo. I just called him and told him, first he sounded awed like upset and then he was perturbed. Booyah! He's got all the time in the world to himself. The very thing he always wanted and I just gave it to him!

Okay, so I'm off to see what Day 4 challenge is and then I'm gonna play around online and then go to bed. Be back tomorrow!

1 Comment:

Organic Meatbag said...

So out of curiosity, is your significant other doing anything special like this for you? Sounds like you are pampering him and he just sits back and scratches his I wrong?


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