The Love Dare: Day 3 repeat

Went to church this morning. Got abit of counseling from my assistant pastor. He's a good guy. he recommends a marriage counselor. He can't volunteer for the job because I have already confided in him. So now I have to see if Ray wants to see one. I can tell you now that he answer will be no. I know him.

But I'm looking for this situation to change. I suppose I've found a new fire put up under my little arse. It's a process. Daniel (my AP_ helped me find some scriptures and made me write them down so I would have them on hand when I needed them. No, not so I could throw them at Ray either. But so that when I feel like giving up, I have something to look to, something to pray about.

There's still no sunshine. But sometimes I guess we need a refreshing rain to wash us clean --quite thoroughly, too, it seems to me. I'm layin down for my Sunday nap. Don't know if I'll see much of Ray today, other than before I leave --he volunteered to watch the kids while I attend the night service--, but I'll be back later with more.

I will parise You in this storm
I will lift my hands
You are who You are
no matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You've never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

Day 3 repeat endnote:
Tonight's service was eye opening. Each monthe we have a particular ministyr create a service based round their ministyr. Tonight's service was run by the drama team. They did two music skits: one to Go Light Your World and one to Testify to Love. Testify to Love got me.

I realized what my purpose in all this is. I realized a lot of things. Things I can't share here--yet. Things that are just more of a testimony to me about God's love for me and His purpose for me. I know that the hell I'm going through now is just part of my testimony. It will bring hope to others in situations like mine, it will bring strength to those around me. I just have to hold on. If I let go now, everything will fall apart.

So pray that God will give me strength and understanding, but most of all peace. Let my life--my marriage--be a testimony of love.

For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love.
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough.
With every breath I take,
I will give thanks to God above.
For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love.