Love believes the best.
Anyone feel as guilty as I do? Todays' challenge: Get two sheets of paper. On the first, write out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second. Place both sheets in a secret place. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
Have not done this yet. Will do it throughout the day. Have a feeling I'm not going to like myself much when I complete the lists. Have a lot of thinking and praying to do.
In other news, I'm going to get my permit today.
Day 7, midday:
Haven't done this yet. Not sure why. Really anxious, don't want to know what I think.
It seems that I may have caused the apocalyptical end of all things as I know them. Unintentionally, of course. I can't make him happy, no matter what I do. I want him to be the one standing there at the end of my challenge, but will he? Is he willing to wait for me to change? Is he willing to accept that I can change? At least the in-laws aren't taking sides. They just want to make sure that I keep contact open between them and the boys no mater what happens. I can do that.
Anyhooligans, off to get my permit. Wish me luck!
Day 7, evening:
Didn't get the permit. Missed it by one point. It's ok. I'll do it again Wednesday. Got the new specs. Already been complimented--although, it doesn't really count cause they were just teenage boys.
Heart still heavy. Not sure what to do anymore. All I can do is hold onto God. He's all I got anymore. Back later.
Day 7, endnote:
So, I am very troubled to say, that my marriage has ended. It is his decision. I have decided to comply.
I will simply ask for God's peace in this and ask that He heal my broken heart. I will continue the Love Dare up until Day 32--when Day 32 comes, you'll understand why. I intned to change me anyway.
I have been told--and it was pretty wise--that I could complete the dare all I wanted to. What made the difference was whether or not I lived it. So i have a new challenge. To LIVE the LOVE DARE, not just do it! I will do it, too, You--you know who you are--I will live the Love Dare!
Here's where I muse, I knit, I crochet, I quilt, I rant, I rave, I carry on about the world in general. My patterns and notes on patterns will appear on Knit Knack Patty Shack.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Love believes the best.